If the Super Bowl is the two teams it’s looking like, no one outside of those two cities cares.
No one wants to see a New England Patriots and Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl; especially not Broncos Country.
The country can hope for the Green Bay Packers or the Indianapolis Colts to pull the upset but that’s as likely as John Fox winning a Super Bowl. So instead of hoping for an outcome that won’t happen, I decided to put my efforts to something else – with the help of my wife.
I put it on social media: Things Broncos Country would rather do than watch a New England Seattle Super Bowl. It’s probably the longest hashtag in Twitter history, but the point is to be fun.
- Get a colonoscopy, prostate exam and root canal all at the same time.
- Be Jay Cutler’s coach.
- Personally shop for Tom Brady’s Uggs.
- Watch the Colorado Rockies.
- Be Richard Sherman’s PR agent.
- Be the head coach of the Oakland Raiders.
- Get an all expenses paid trip from Malaysian Airlines.
- Watch Phil Simms announce chess.
- Do a Q&A with Marshawn Lynch.
- Watch a 24-hour Project Runway marathon with my wife.
Here the ones I got from people on Twitter.
- From @aubreezy81: “Get kicked in the head by Thunder.”
- From @MetalMushin: “Drink Bleach.”
- From @BeeleeShoe: “Lick Grand Central Station bathrooms clean.”
- From @LeoraKitty78: “‘Say yes to the dress’ for 24 hours with my ex-husband.”
- From @gjdeherrera: “Re-watch the Broncos lose to the Colts.”
- Shave Andrew Luck’s neck beard.
- Drywall a bathroom ceiling.
- Soil my pants because my arm was caught in a wood chipper, while giving a speech about algebra in front of a crowd of good looking girls I used to have a chance with.
- Listen to an eight-hour time share/multilevel marketing presentation while fighting Montezuma’s Revenge.
- Watch the first half of a regular season Minnesota Timberwolves-Charlotte Hornets NBA game with Bill Walton behind the mic.
If what we think does happen today, you have some ideas on what to do instead of watching the Super Bowl.