41 Reasons Peyton Manning Will Choke This Season (HUMOR)


If you read a lot of Broncos news on the internet you are bound to stumble across a ‘Peyton Manning is a Choker’ article from time to time. And I get why they are being written – as flawed and lazy as I might find these articles to be (mostly because it’s a team sport, not an individual one) – any fan of Peyton Manning or the Broncos obviously wishes his post-season record was better and that the Super Bowl had gone another way.

For Broncos fans, we just want to win the Super Bowl. Period. And if (I mean when) we do win the Super Bowl this year, no one will really care if Peyton Manning played particularly well that day. I’m guessing if Manning plays poorly and the Broncos still win the Super Bowl no one will be calling Manning a choker. But if Manning has the game of his life but fumbles and missed field goals dominate the game and the Broncos lose, Manning will still get the blame.

Manning doesn’t always play well – this is true – no one does. I’m not going to try and convince anyone that Peyton Manning is or is not a choker, but I am going to make fun of the constant list of reasons people seem to find before every game for why Peyton Manning is clearly going to cause the Broncos to lose a game.

Because the reality is, when you are talking about a man who is smashing records after a surgery that would have ended most player’s careers, it’s easier for some to look for the bad rather than enjoy the greatness right in front of you.

  1. because it’s windy
  2. because there’s a ‘cross-wind’ in the stadium
  3. because there’s ‘swirling wind’ in the stadium
  4. because the Chargers have Peyton’s number
  5. because the game is being played in New England
  6. because he’s playing against Tom Brady (seriously it’s just the two of them out there on the field – it’s amazing)
  7. because Bill Belichick can see into Peyton Manning’s mind (it’s the hoodie)
  8. because it’s a Thursday night game
  9. because it’s the morning game
  10. because whoever is singing the national anthem for this game thinks his name is spelled “Payton”
  11. because there was a full moon last night
  12. because the field has real grass
  13. because the field has artificial turf
  14. because Manning’s car pool buddy Eric Decker is now a Jet
  15. because Manning failed to charge his iPad and forgot the entire playbook last night
  16. because the Broncos didn’t play “Rocky Top” during stretches at practice today
  17. because Manning is a slacker and has nothing better to do before the Broncos Summer Scrimmage than sign autographs for fans
  18. because Jim Irsay just tweeted something strange that morning
  19. because Roger Goodell just did something everyone thinks was a bad idea that morning
  20. because it’s loud at the stadium
  21. because he’s playing at Mile High Stadium and the air is just too thin there
  22. because he’s playing at sea level
  23. because global warming is totally messing up his throwing mechanics
  24. because he’s 38 years old
  25. because he’s an Aries and Aries are known chokers
  26. because the last time Manning faced this team they lost
  27. because the last time Manning faced this team they won
  28. because the last 3 times Manning faced this team they won and he’s long overdue to screw this one up
  29. because it’s the post season, a Wild Card Game, A Divisional Game, a Conference Championship, a Super Bowl . . .
  30. because he only has 1 Super Bowl ring
  31. because he can only win Super Bowl games when it’s raining
  32. because when his team’s kicker missed that game winning field goal that was totally Manning’s fault (not that Prater would do that of course)
  33. because it’s cold
  34. because he’s not wearing gloves
  35. because he’s wearing 2 gloves
  36. because one of his twins hid his glove that morning and wouldn’t tell him where it was
  37. because it’s between 10 degrees and 20 degrees and it’s a known fact Manning can’t complete a forward pass in weather like that
  38. because Phil Simms is calling the game
  39. because Phil Simms is not calling the game and didn’t pick the Broncos to win on Inside the NFL
  40. because Manning’s Peyback Foundation is giving too much money away to worthy causes and good guys always finish last
  41. because Peyton Manning is not your team’s quarterback