An NFL Backup QB Comparison


It’s the year of the backup quarterback in the NFL.

Ever since the 25th pick in the 2010 draft, the backup quarterback position has been the focus here in Denver. While not the focus for many teams in the off season, the backup QB has nonetheless come to play an important role during the season due to under performance issues and/or injuries. Of the thirty-two teams in the league, fifteen teams have been forced to play more than one QB and six of those teams have been forced to play more than two QBs.

Because of the staggering number of backup QBs that have seen action this season, I’ve decided to do a little comparison between the starters/backups and famous television/movie/sports duos.

Arizona Cardinals:

Derek Anderson and Max Hall as Piglet and Winnie-the-Pooh – Like Piglet, Derek Anderson is a timid, self-conscious quarterback that gets swallowed up in the pocket and throws interceptions. He wants to conquer his fears and be a brave starting QB, but was benched in favor of a more confident Max Hall. Hall, like Winnie-the-Pooh, proudly wears his Cardinal red shirt. He’s an innocent guy from BYU looking for the sweet pot of honey after not being drafted and signing as a long-shot free agent.

Buffalo Bills:

Ryan Fitzpatrick and Trent Edwards as Shaggy and Scooby-Doo – Just like Shaggy and Scooby don’t really help Fred, Velma, and Daphne solve mysteries, Fitzpatrick and Edwards have not helped the Bills to one win this season. Will they ever get a clue?

Carolina Panthers:

Matt Moore and Jimmy Clausen as Pinky and The Brain (Animaniacs) – They’ve had an equal amount of playing time and both have tried to take over the world Panthers, but each time, they fail.

Chicago Bears:

Jay Cutler and Todd Collins as Deputy Barney Fife and Sheriff Andy Taylor (The Andy Griffith Show) – Like Fife, Cutler likes to think of himself as an expert on the job. Cutler claims to be good at throwing TDs, getting along with head coaches, courting women, and carving pumpkins. However, this is all a cover up for his insecurities and low self-confidence. Collins plays the role of the composed and practical Sheriff after being in the league for 15 years. He may just hold the clipboard, but he can offer the star of the show a lot of help.

Cleveland Browns: 

Jake Delhomme, Seneca Wallace, and Colt McCoy as Larry, Curly, and Moe (The Three Stooges) – All three QBs have seen plenty of action through seven weeks, and have provided plenty of slapstick humor. The only one not laughing is the city of Cleveland. After LeBron’s decision to leave the Cavs and the Browns’ 2-5 record, the residents of Cleveland are trying to recover from a classic ear pull and a plunger to the face.

Dallas Cowboys:

Tony Romo and Jon Kitna as Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo – They both live in Jerrystone Park and steal copious amounts of picnic baskets money from fans who pay to watch a 2-5 team play.

Denver Broncos:

Kyle Orton and Tim Tebow as Zack Morris and A.C. Slater (Saved by the Bell) – Like Zack, Orton is the natural leader. He’s reportedly a funny guy to have in the locker and is always scheming up a trick or two to play on teammates. Tebow, on the other hand, spends his days in the weight room bulking up. Like Slater, the classic jock, Tebow is the all-american poster child for prowess on the athletic field.

Detroit Lions:

Shaun Hill and Matthew Stafford as members of the Miami Heat – Both QBs have gone down with injuries this season, and a lack of consistency at the position gives them little time to blend with teammates. Thus, despite shelling out the big bucks in Stafford and in “the big three,” both the Lions and the Heat are losing.   

Jacksonville Jaguars:

David Garrard and Todd Bouman as Tim Tebow (reincarnated) – At least that’s what Florida residents wish.

Oakland Raiders:

Jason Campbell and Bruce Gradkowski as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – There may be two QBs, but each one has a split personality. Lucky for the Raiders that they seem to be on opposite schedules so that when one is playing poorly, the other is on his game.  

Philadelphia Eagles:

Michael Vick and Kevin Kolb as Will Smith and Martin Lawrence (Bad Boys) – Like Smith and Lawrence, both QBs kick ass and take names. They are both on a mission to reclaim a team who had Donovan McNabb stolen from under their nose. 

Pittsburgh Steelers:

Ben Roethlisberger and Charlie Batch/Dennis Dixon as Batman and Robin – The Steelers can’t be the best in the business without each other.

San Francisco 49ers:

Alex Smith and David Carr as Wayne and Garth (Wayne’s World) – Both QBs were drafted #1 in their respective drafts, but like Wayne and Garth, they have found trouble maintaining their earlier success. Whether it’s on the football field or on their couch, their future careers on live television have turned into a question mark.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

Josh Freeman and Josh Johnson as Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy – No one believes that they’re for real.

Tennessee Titans:

Vince Young and Kerry Collins as Jerry Seinfeld and George Constanza (Seinfeld) – Like Jerry and George, you can go to either QB to make the show run. However, the true entertainment comes from the electrifying Cosmo Kramer or Chris Johnson.

And since there’s a possibility that Brett Favre will not suit up on Sunday…

Minnesota Vikings:

Brett Favre and Tarvaris Jackson as Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock (Star Trek) – Like Capt. Kirk, Favre has been floating around the football universe for most of his life. He’s recently been labeled a football playboy after texting pictures of himself to a former female sports columnist. Jackson is like Spock in that he puts logic first and is often overshadowed by Favre/Kirk’s emotionally charged presence.

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