Growing Up Is Hard To Do In Professional Sports


Bradon Marshall says that he “has a lot of growing up to do.” The wideout for the Broncos had surgery to repair the damaged artery, nerve, tendons, and vein in his arm after slipping on a McDonald’s bag and crashing into the television set. He was engaging in horseplay with his brother when the incident happened.

At least Marshall is willing to admit that he needs to mature. I’ve compiled a short list of past and present professional athletes/coaches that still need to graduate from diapers:

1. Bobby Knight – Has temper tantrums like a two-year old. Chair throwing ability equally as impressive. Mental age – 2

2. Pacman Jones – No explanation needed. Mental age -3

3. John McEnroe – Another temper tantrum genius. Yes, I’m serious. Mental age – 2

4. Terrell Owens – He has started to grow up since going to the Cowboys, but who can ever forget this Owens’ quote: “I love me some me.” Mental age – 13

5. Bill Romanowski – Kids spit when they get angry too. Mental age -4

6. Mike Tyson – This ear biter/drug user needs to turn into a human being first. Mental age – N/A

7. Joe Namath – No, the reporter doesn’t want to kiss you! Mental age – 9

8. Latrell Sprewell – Keep your hands off of your coach’s neck! Mental age – 4

9. Ron Artest – Usually leads the NBA in technical fouls and accumulated fines. Mental age – 7

10. O.J. Simpson – You would think that after getting away with murder, Simpson would want to stay out of the courtroom. Mental age – 8