Bye weeks can be great, especially when your team has a 2-6 record. There’s no yelling/throwing objects at the T.V. this Sunday. I’m here to give you some suggestions as to what to do without Broncos football.
1. Go to church – Confess all those football related sins and impure thoughts that you’ve had. If you secretly wanted to see Kyle Orton go down with an injury just so Tim Tebow could throw his first pass, head for the confessional now.
2. Tailgate in your front yard – Fire up the grill and have a beer to cheer your neighbor on as he washes his car.
3. Develop an interest in NASCAR – Perfect your southern drawl by watching old clips of Jerry Jones.
4. Enter a competitive eating contest – Your stomach can surely expand more after all of the training you’ve done. In week one, some beer and chicken wings sent you reaching for the Tums. Now after eight weeks, you could swallow a plate full of poppers, fried chicken, and nachos without blinking an eye.
5. Work on your touchdown dance – The next time you trip over the dog and save your face from hitting the ground, a little celebration is warranted.
6. Pay the bookies – If you’ve bet on the Dallas Cowboys each week, you’re in deep and considering enrolling in the Witness Protection Program. Pay them now and keep the rest of your savings under the mattress.
7. Get reacquainted with your spouse/significant other – Ditch the team attire for the day, do one big chore around the house, and initiate a “date night”. You’ll be golden for the next eight weeks and the playoffs.
8. Hit the gym – All of the excess energy that would’ve been spent cheering on the Broncos needs to go somewhere. So does that “football fifteen” that you’ve put on.
9. Watch your alma mater play – Even if they are 1-7, it gives you the chance to relive to “glory days.”
10. Have a “sit-down” with your kids – There are all kinds of words that came out of your mouth that they’ve never heard before. Explain to them that you were watching an educational program about trucking.
Make sure to follow Predominantly Orange on Facebook.