Why Being A Broncos Fan Is Still Better Than Being A Raiders Fan

I did the first installment before their first meeting in September, but there are obviously more than 10 reasons why being a Broncos fan is better than being a Raiders fan. Here are 10 more for you to enjoy:

1. JaMarcus Russell found an unknown white powdery substance on the field the other day. After further investigation, forensic experts determined the unknown substance was in fact the goal line.

2. That billboard that Raiders fans put up near the stadium should’ve read “Senile Al, Do the right thing. Please hire a nurse.”

3. Speaking of the billboard, surprisingly, it was spelled correctly.

4. The Raiders and laxatives have something in common: Both irritate the shit out of you.

5. Correll Buckhalter may not play against the Raiders on Sunday. Only cause he’s merciful.

6. Head coach Tom Cable has been accused of abusing two women. The Raiders have been abusing their fans for years.

7. The “Oakland Faiders” are a good nickname, but I like the “Oakland Tampons” better since they’re only good for one period and they don’t have a second string.

8. Al Davis will sign someone who can run really fast in a straight line without any other football skills. Next up on his agenda: Usain Bolt.

9.  If a player is guaranteed to get fat and/or quit once arriving in Oakland, the Raiders will sign him.

10. In order for Michael Vick to return to the NFL, he had to show genuine regret. In other words, he had to act like a Raiders’ season ticket holder.