Why Being A Broncos Fan Is Easier Than Being A Raiders Fan

The Raiders are the bud of many jokes in the NFL. It would be a great injustice to you, Broncos fans, if we left them alone this week. So, here are the top 10 reasons why being a Broncos fan is still better than being a Raiders fan.

1. Where would you rather see a game? In a gloomy black hole or closer to the heavens at 1 mile above sea level?

2. Averaging 4 wins a season for the past 6 years gives them the title “Detroit of the West”.

3. Their 2009 first round draft selection (Darrius Heyward-Bay) was taken solely on his 4.23 second performance in the 40. That’s also the amount of time he will handle the football this season.

4. Their coaching staff is better suited for a UFC title fight on pay-per view rather than on CBS on Sunday afternoons.

5. If you were good 8 years ago and called a “cancer” by your former team,  Al Davis will sign you to a large contract and then either bench you or trade you away before the season is over.

6. When Javon Walker steps onto the field, fans hear the sound of dollar bills being flushed down the toilet.

7. Safety, Eugene Hiram must be Al Davis’ longtime consultant. Hire him. Fire him. Hire him. Fire him. Hire him.

8. When you dress up like your owner for Halloween and everyone thinks you’re the Crypt Keeper, you can tell them, “Same difference, both will put a dagger in the Raiders.”

9. A leather Raiders bomber jacket is about as cool as JaMarcus Russell is under pressure.

10. Like the Roman Coliseum was, the Oakland Coliseum is the stage for executions – that of their own team.