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Broncos Rap A La Shaq
If you haven’t seen the video of Shaq dissing Kobe on the mike, then check it out. I’ve taken it upon myself to create some freestyle lyrics that Broncos’ players would spit if they were on the mike (Tip: It helps to read it to some sort of beat:)
Mike Shanahan to Javon Walker: We’ve got two Brandon’s, Jackson, and a Parker, after week 1 you’ll be on the Vegas Strip using a walker. Sippin’ Champagne, spraying the crowd, sorry to hear you’re now in O-Town. You’re makin’ the dough you thought you should, who’s everyone kidding, in Denver, you sat on the wood.
Selvin Young to Travis Henry: Don’t play me a fool, I know who you are, you’re the dude who knocked up nine women after a night at the bar. Watch me run, get 2,000 yards while your ass be smokin’ all that grass. I wish you well, I really do, now take a seat mother f***er, on Sunday’s your ass should be in a pew.
Brandon Marshall to Jay Cutler: I’ll fetch your insulin when you need it most, don’t need you turning white as a ghost. I love the flair and style, stickin’ in the pocket, goin’ the extra mile. Forgive me for I have sinned, fell through a T.V. set, shoulda told you the ground was wet.
Jay Cutler to Brandon Marshall: It’s okay, you recovered quite fast, you lookin’ good without that cast. Like Young to Rice, Elway to Smith, we the duo without a vice. What am I doing, I can’t rap, I need my sugar or else it’s an extended nap.
What Kobe’s rap would be to Shaq: You know me, last week I was playing in the Finals, while you were sittin’ your ass in the Garden aisles. I speak Italian like a pro, son. You, my friend, only speak moron. Still missin’ freethrows, playin’ next to Nash, call me next year when you’re runnin’ outta cash. I’ll be sittin’ high and mighty, reigning MVP, you Big Daddy, you still squating to pee? You know where to find me, with a ball in hand, ready to earn that Trophy while you stand by watching, firsthand.
Word!
If you liked that post, then try these...
Philip Rivers: A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet by Kim on December 27th, 2007
Special Teams Induced Vomiting: Broncos Fall to Bears by Kim on November 25th, 2007
Wardrobe, please by Old No. 7 on June 6th, 2007
Broncos Update This Spooky Night by Kim on October 31st, 2007
Great Overweight Athletes by Kim on July 30th, 2008
I’m pretty sure all of those were better than Shaq Fu’s nonsense!
June 24th, 2008 at 8:51 pm